The greatest man I know, that’s how I would describe my dad. The man who does everything for his family. How can I or anyone I meet possibly compare to this man? All I can possibly do is try to be like him and follow in his footsteps as to me the ideal person stands and sits with me everyday but unfortunately the harsh reality is it may not be for much longer….
Perfection is one way to describe my father, the best in his field, no forget that, the best in anything, ask him something he’ll have the answers, throughout my life so far I’ve had struggles, academically and life-wise and he’s always had the solutions, throughout my degree I could ask him anything and he’d have the right answer for it, how? I don’t even know, but he could probably do my degree in his sleep without ever having done it before… People always say you should try and better yourself over others but the bars far too high, I can only wish and hope that I can provide my children with the same level of support my dad provides us with, putting us first over himself…
I have it easy, everything I want at a click of a finger, I’ve never had to struggle, why? My father, simply put, he came from the bottom, his own family tossing him aside and now he sits at the top, I can’t match that, I could never forgive people the way he does. A great quote springs to mind here ‘You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him - Malcolm Forbes’. I’ve been working for my dad for 9 months now, never have I heard so much praise for one person in my life, nor have I seen so much respect, it’s a true example of respect is earned, his own boss shows my dad more respect than anyone else does him, how do I live up to this legacy?! My father isn’t one to ask for help nor does he need it but always extends his hand no matter how troublesome or how it affects him, his eldest sister, his parents cast him out when he was ill but still forgives them, something if happened to me id never forgive, I still don’t but choose to just bare the grunt for him as I know if I voice my opinion it’s just more stress for him, which at the moment I could never put him through.
A great man right? Yeah he is but he struggles with illness daily and today I just couldn’t bare to see it, struggling to pick up his own briefcase, now those close to me know that my father is ill, he has diabetes, sugar, low blood cell count, a plethora of things I can’t begin to list, so put yourself in my shoes, unable to do a thing to help him, the man who’s helped me countlessly, if there were a way for me give up my life to extend his? I’d give it up without a second thought, the difference in importance of life is colossal but fate is cruel…
People say prayer gets you through it and God doesn’t put you through things you can’t handle, one cannot fathom the things god plans and puts in our paths, the wrong doers are always punished. I never question my religion, ever, I follow it as well as I can, pray 5 times a day, fast during Ramadan, give to charity, recite the Quran once a year among other things but when I have to think about what’s happening with my dad I question it all. Why him? Why is he ridiculed with illness from a young age, a man who has done nothing bad but has been given ill fate since his early teens, donates to charity, adheres to all the teachings of Islam, respects everyone around him, prays when his body allows it, yet rapists, murderers, pagans those who practice black magic etc are allowed to live well into their grand ages, see their children get married, have children yet I’m here being told my father can’t make it past his 50’s? Where’s the sense? How is this fair? The past 15 years I always ask god to keep my father in good health, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I see part time Muslims have better, drinking alcohol, going against any teachings our great prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) set out, yet when it gets hard for them they become religious and their prayers are heard.
The rule that a husband should provide for his family falls abundant here, my father mashallah has a great job and would go to the sun and back if it was required of him for his family, I’ve been given everything thanks to this man, there isn’t anything more to desire but when people say money doesn’t buy you happiness it’s true. Rich coming from me as I’m probably one of the most materialistic people there are but these things, gadgets, cars, watches they mean nothing, I’d gladly be poor and without these luxuries if it meant my father was rid of such illnesses, like I said I’ve got it easy, I was handed my job by my father, ridiculous pay to do what? Most could only dream of working and earning this at 21, but my father set me up, why? So I could enjoy my life, not have the worries he had, I said to him just last month ill pay bills to help out and he out right refused me. I wasn’t aware why until my boss a good friend of his told me he said ‘why should I take money from my son, I’ve provided for him all my life and will continue to do so, I don’t see the point’.
Some of you may think, mine would probably say the same… In all honesty I doubt it, I’ve yet to see a parent refuse it yet all my friends pretty much do pay for one thing or another. In all honesty if I earned a million tomorrow I’d transfer it to him and tell him he won the lottery, it would probably be the only way, still wouldn’t spend it on himself though which saddens me now, worked his entire life throughout uni and after and not fully enjoyed it, I don’t ever cry but thinking about how cruel life is towards my dad, it makes them bleed.
There’s a million things I can add to this post but I don’t even think the Internet has enough space for it, I just hope that I can live up to be as great a man he is, provide for my family and that he’s there to see my kids so I never have to utter the words ‘your grandad was a great man’ but instead send them to his house to experience and see it for themselves, I pray that my kids see me in the same way I see him, that i can live up to his expectations, that one day I might hear the words ‘I’m proud of you. I just can’t comprehend this, if you thought my life was ‘perfect and easy’ you don’t honestly know a thing about me, I’d say 1% of my friends know what’s going on in my life, flashy things, money, doesn’t mean anything if you’ve got no one to be proud of it, ultimately we all lay in the same graves when we pass, born with luxuries or not and only god knows what’s best for us, I just continually pray everyday that I get to see my father and nothing more.
I just spit it how I live it homie I don’t be lyin
Would it make you feel better if I put my pockets on the die?
If I made less money, started to dress bummy
Would the haters and the critics have more respect for me?
Should I downgrade the crib and the way I live?
Now how about I don’t and we just say I did, nigga”
- T.I. Every chance i get
Ferns - Brush Brook - Blue Line by Barry Underwood